Cha Cha Cha Changes: Part One

This started out as a completely different post but then I realized I needed to recognize all of the people who helped me get through what was up to this point the most challenging part of my life. In the next post I will tell about all the cool new tricks my Luca is accomplishing.

It is so crazy. I feel like I am a brand new parent
for the second time in 5 months. I am learning how to tool around with my little
guy in tow. We can take him to the grocery
store, shopping, even out to lunch!!!!!

Family and friends are able to hold him, while he is awake with

NO TEARS!!!!!

We have even left him with my sister and mom (for the entire day) and with Scott's parents (for the evening.) I never wanted to leave him with family because I did not want to burden them with the screaming. I DEFINITELY would not ever have left him with someone who wasn't family for fear of him pushing them to the breaking point with his antics.

Don't get me wrong I fell in love with my Luca at first sight, with that being said he was a TOUGH baby. I questioned what I had done to get such an unhappy little man.

I cried A LOT.

I hated hearing from people things like "Have you tried to cut (insert food here) out of your diet?", "He is just sensing your first time parent anxiety.","My baby is sooooooo fussy, he cries for a couple hours every night before bed."(*puke*), "Just let him cry it out.", "Have you done bicycle kicks?", my all time favorite was when people he didn't know would take him and think that the "trick" they had would make him stop crying. That last one ALWAYS made the situation worse and then I would have to deal with the aftermath.

I found myself feeling bitter towards people who were able to take their new babies out in public or leave them with a family member. Who am I kidding? I was bitter towards anyone who wasn't going through what I was. It seemed that everyone I knew having babies bragged about how easy going they were. DROVE ME CRAZY!!!!

Of course, I realized that my little guy was healthy and for that I was EXTREMELY THANKFUL.

I know how lucky I am/was to not have to deal with any serious health issues. I felt that way at the time, it was just harder to put into perspective then.

Anyway...getting back to where I am going with this long rambling post. Times were tough for me and little man. It was so refreshing when I would actually talk to someone who had a tough baby like Luca. You knew right away by their choice of words that their babies were not just fussy, they were down right tough. I can not thank those ladies (and gentlemen) enough. They got me through so many tough times. I don't think they even realized how much it meant to me when I heard their war stories and saw that their kiddos turned out fine. Half of the time when I was talking/writing to them about what was going on I was just an absolute mess with giant tears of desperation running down my face.

Miss Beth was the first person that I knew had been there. She sent me a message about her little girl and her all night screaming. Then, there was Jaycie, who assured me that doing crazy things like running the hair dryer for hours on end was o.k. Matt and Shelly opened my eyes to a whole new world with the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Weissbluth. (http://www.drweissbluth.com/ I highly recommend this book to anyone who has a baby. Fussy/colicky/happy makes no difference.) I will never forget talking to Shelly on the phone with my jaws clenched and tears pooling in my eyes while she was saying that she knew that I was at my breaking point because she had been their too. Wondering why she had even had a baby in the first place. I remember Tracy telling me how she felt when she went out into public after dealing with a colicky baby. She felt like she was a complete outsider...like the rest of the world was totally out of her reach. God love Sara. She sat and listened to me sob those wordless cries, you know the kind when you are trying so hard to talk but just can't muster words just awful horrible choking noises. Hannah sought out a formula that was intended to specifically treat colic. Lindsey even made me laugh a few times because instead of just quickly answering the phone and saying she was busy, she would first check my mental state to be sure I wasn't falling apart before she let me know she was in the middle of something.

I guess where I am going with this whole thing is a resounding

THANK YOU!!!!

Thank you for the kind words, understanding, and listening ears you gave me. I am sure I would have muddled through without them but you all made it so much easier.